That weekend we left on 5 day family trip to the Wind Rivers with Adam’s two brothers Cam and Parris and Mum and Smurf. We had no cell coverage or internet and so were out of service for the 5 days we were gone. When we arrived home late Thursday night though our inbox’s and voicemails were filled with messages that Papa was going and that we should come and see him.
I instantly called my Mom to get an update and found that she was with my Papa at the rest home and that they had given him only a few more days to live. She had been staying with him round the clock (and had been since Monday) so that he would’t have to pass alone. It was obvious her affection for her Papa and so tender the way she was taking care of him. However, I could also sense something in her voice and knew that she too needed someone with her. So I gathered the kids around – told them about Papa and asked if anyone wanted to go with me to say goodbye to Papa or if they would prefer to write Papa a card and say goodbye that way (he looked really bad so we weren’t sure how the little kids would react to that. And although Daws and Harry took me up on my offer to draw Papa a card and have me say goodbye for them Branson instantly wanted to go – and wanted to say the goodbye himself. He was really tender and really cute.
So around 8:00 that evening we headed to the rest home to say our goodbyes to Papa. Papa was no longer coherent at this time being on so many drugs to keep him comfortable. He couldn’t talk – and yet once again he left us all feeling loved as we read him the cards, sang songs to him, and shared precious memories and feelings. Mom let me sit next to him and I held his hands for the hours that we were there. And every time I went to put his hand back under the covers – he would reach out again for me or put his hand on my leg. So although he couldn’t talk – his reaching for me brought tears to my eyes and was one last expression from him that he loved me and wanted me near. It simply melted my heart.
Adam and I went over again Friday night to spend more time with him and Mom – and then on Saturday we all received the call at around noon that he had passed. And although I had said my goodbyes several times over the past few days – the call made it final and I found myself weeping uncontrollably. He was really gone. It had really happened and the grief hit me like a ton of bricks.
My only desire at that moment though was to go and be with my Mom. I knew this was going to be hard for her and I could heard the grief and sadness in her voice when she had called to tell me the news – and I didn’t want her to be alone. So Adam told me to just go and I was able to spend all afternoon with her, my Dad, and my Papa’s dead body. The miracle in this all though was that my Mom hadn’t been alone when Papa had passed. When I got to the rest home Mom told me how at the exact moment that Papa had taken his last breath, that my Dad had walked in the room – and she’d been able to fun into his arms for comfort. It was a tender mercy that we were all so grateful for.
The rest of the afternoon we spent prepping Papa’s body, sharing more sweet memories, and even found laughter amongst our grief (remember the name of that Pizza place Dad took you too on one of your dates, Mom?) It was a sweet time and I was glad to be able to be there with Mom and Dad (and later my sister in law Stacey).
Papa was a wonderful man – pretty much the best that they come. And his love was genuine, heart felt, and sincere. There was no doubt in any of our minds that we were loved and prized in his eyes. Nothing else was more important than family to him. Nothing else was more important than God to him. God was love and thats all that mattered. Together we had it all. This too shall pass. One day at a time and all that good stuff. He will be forever missed by those he left behind but how grateful we are that he is now reunited with his Dad (who he lost at 12 years of age), his adoring Mother (who helped raise him all by herself), my dear Nana, and countless friends and relatives. We know he is rejoicing in heaven and surrounded with love on the other side.
